


The Air You Breathe

by spinningthreads



Category: Ultraman Gaia
Genre: Asphyxiation, Guilt, M/M, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 18:30:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17854871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spinningthreads/pseuds/spinningthreads
Summary: An unexpected consequence of a monster attack makes a delayed appearance. Much angst and guilt is had by all.





	The Air You Breathe

“Come on, Gamu,” Kajio-san called from the other side of the gym, “we’re hitting the sauna, you coming?”

Did he want to be stuck in a small, heated room with Kajio-san when they were wearing nothing but towels? No, no he didn’t, that would be a very bad idea. “Ah, no,” he said hurriedly. “I still have some things I need to work on, I-I should go do that.” They’d managed to get him in here in the first place but they weren’t getting him into the sauna.

He made the mistake of turning his back on them, which was never a good thing to do, because before he could head for the shower there was an arm draped not so casually around his shoulders. “Come on,” Kajio-san repeated, half smile on his face that did not bode well for Gamu’s resistance. “You’ll go with Yoshida-san and the rest of Hercules but not us?” He gestured at the other two members of Team Lightning and Gamu’s heart sank, knowing where this was going. “I think we’re hurt, aren’t we?”

Kitada-san and Ogawara-san nodded in agreement and Gamu sighed. How was he supposed to argue with that? Well, at least he could honestly tell himself he’d tried. Albeit not very hard. “Fine,” he surrendered. “I’m coming.” _Just please don’t let me embarrass myself completely._

 

He was actually quite pleased with himself, Gamu thought, about five minutes into the sauna time. It was taking some concentration but he was managing not to let slip things he'd rather keep to himself, even if he was promising himself he would never come into the sauna with Kajio-san again, it was too hard on his nerves. He never had this problem with Team Hercules, which was just as well, considering how often they dragged him in here.

On the other hand, his vision never went blurry when he was in here with Yoshida-san and the others and his head didn't spin. Something was wrong, he realised with alarm, his chest constricting. Something was happening but he didn't know what and he couldn't concentrate enough to try and work it out. He couldn’t breathe, was the next worrying realisation. Why couldn’t he breathe? he wondered frantically, panic rising as he desperately tried to suck air into his lungs. There was a babble of noise in his ears and he was being bodily lifted and carried somewhere. Cold air hit him and oh, okay, they were out of the sauna but it didn’t help because he _still couldn’t breathe_ and why couldn’t he?

Kajio-san was hovering over him looking worried and that just made him feel worse because if Kajio-san was worried then it meant he didn’t have any idea what to do and Kajio-san always knew what do. Except a couple of times when he didn’t and thinking that really wasn’t helping.

There was the sound of another voice, one he distantly identified as Koyama-san but he couldn’t focus on it. Kajio-san rested a hand on his cheek and he looked up at him helplessly, still struggling to pull oxygen into his lungs. Biology wasn’t his specialty but he knew what happened to the human brain when it didn’t get enough oxygen and he was acutely aware that suffocation was _not_ a pleasant way to die and he really, really didn’t want to die and…

“Gamu.” That was Kajio-san talking to him and the worry that had been present in his face before was gone, replaced by calm confidence. “There’s a med team on the way, but Koyama-leader is going to make sure there’s nothing blocking your throat right now, okay? So just hold still.”

He nodded, reaching out blindly as Kajio-san moved to the side, relieved when his friend’s hand closed around his, squeezing gently. Koyama-san moved into his line of vision and his fingers were gentle as they ran over his throat. He heard Koyama-san say something about something being swollen which didn’t sound particularly good but he could feel himself starting to go light-headed and that couldn’t be good either. There was a sharp squeeze of his fingers and he forced his eyes open, surprised to find they’d been closed and there was Kajio-san again.

“Gamu, do you have any allergies?”

It sounded like he’d had to repeat himself, even if he still looked relatively calm. Gamu shook his head fractionally and Kajio-san nodded, glancing sideways - probably at Koyama-san - before asking another question, followed by another.

“Alright,” he said eventually, “the med team’s here, Gamu. You’re going to be fine, okay? You’ll be fine.”

He nodded, desperately trying to keep his friend in view as the medics took over, one of them slipping an oxygen mask over his face.

 

Katsumi waited until the med team was completely out of the locker room before he sank down onto the nearest bench, his legs suddenly feeling as if they had turned to jelly.

“Kajio-san?” That was Ogawara and he looked up to find his team-mates watching him in concern.

“I’m fine,” he said. “You two go on ahead.” They hesitated and he frowned. “Don’t make me make it an order.”

That got them moving, albeit unhappily and he felt his shoulders slump a little in relief when they were gone. Yes, they were a team but he was still the leader and he didn’t want them seeing him like this. He held up a hand in front of his face and noted with resignation that it was shaking. Well, damn.

“That’ll be reaction setting in,” Koyama said, sitting down beside him, his elbows resting on his knees. “You’ll be alright in a bit.”

He nodded, leaning forward with his head resting in his hands. He’d never seen Gamu so terrified: he’d seen him uncertain, tired, irritated and sulking but never scared and he thought that that freaked him out almost as much as everything else. “His lips were going blue,” he mumbled and he hadn’t been able to talk and okay, maybe that had freaked him out a lot as well, not that he was about to admit it. It was probably pretty obvious, though. He should be handling this better, he thought. He was a pilot, he’d been trained to deal with stressful situations like this, and even if he hadn’t he’d been fighting monsters for months now. Yet here he was, with his hands still trembling, failing utterly to get a grip on himself. It was ridiculous.

“Lack of oxygen,” Koyama agreed. “It happens in situations like these.”

Well, he would know, Katsumi thought tiredly. The rescue team would have know those kinds of things, just in case. You never knew what you’d be dealing with on a rescue, you’d have to be prepared for anything.

“He’ll be alright,” Koyama told him and Katsumi closed his eyes. The words sounded hollow in his ears: they didn’t even know what had caused Gamu to stop breathing, how could anyone be sure that he would be fine? “You told him that and he believed you, right? You just need to believe it yourself.”

“Gamu’s a lot more positive than I am,” he pointed out instead. Besides, he’d needed something to hold on to and if a few words had done that then they were words well spent but Katsumi himself wasn’t so optimistic. “You didn’t see him, though. One minute he was fine, the next he was…” His voice trailed off as he recalled only too vividly the way Gamu had toppled to the side, gasping for breath and only managing a wheeze that didn’t do him any good at all. Just as he hadn’t done him any good either.

“He’ll be fine,” Koyama repeated firmly. “Why don’t you go hit the shower, might make you feel better.”

He doubted it but hell, he probably needed it. The cleansing sweat from the sauna had turned ice cold the moment he’d realised Gamu couldn’t breathe and now it felt clammy against his skin. That shower was probably a good idea. Pushing himself up wearily he made his way over to the showers, dropping the towel by the entrance and turning the faucet on the nearest one on. The warm water spluttered out over his head before evening off down his back and he straightened up, lifting his face into the stream, closing his eyes against the stinging spray.

It didn’t help as much as he hoped it would because all he could see, over and over, was the panicked look on Gamu’s face as he struggled to breathe and all Katsumi could do was watch helplessly, unable to do anything. His fist connected with the wall before he even realised it and it was as if a dam had burst inside him because once he’d started he couldn’t stop, pounding out the fury of his helplessness against the tiles. There was movement behind him, a dark flash out the corner of his eye and he lashed out as whoever it was tried to grab hold of him. His arm was caught and twisted up behind his back as he was shoved hard against the wall. He snarled and twisted, trying to get free, the blood roaring in his ears at the opportunity to lash out at something besides an inanimate object.

“Kajio-leader, pull yourself together!” someone yelled in his ear, shaking him none-too-gently. “Gamu wouldn’t want this for you! Get a grip!”

Thumping the wall one last time, all the adrenaline rushed out of him and he sagged against the tiles, taking in shuddering gasps of air, trying to claw back some semblance of control.

“That’s it,” Koyama said quietly, letting go of him carefully, as if he were concerned he’d lose it again if he let go too quickly. “Don’t fall apart on me now, Kajio. Gamu’s counting on you to keep it together, right?” He nodded slowly and the leader of Team Seagull clapped him on the shoulder. “Alright, that’s good. Why don’t you go get dressed and then see how he’s doing?”

“They won’t be done with him yet.”

“You never know. Besides, it’s not like you’re going to relax until you know how he is, anyway.”

Katsumi huffed in irritation as he stalked out of the showers, scooping up his towel as he passed. When had Koyama come to know him so well?

"Don't forget to get that hand bandaged up," Koyama called after him and he wrinkled his nose in annoyance, glad that the older man couldn't see him do it.

"I won't," he said instead. He was pretty sure he had a spare bandage in his locker that he kept there for emergencies, that would do the trick. He towelled himself off and pulled on a clean shirt: the rest of his uniform would have to do as it was. He rummaged around the top shelf off his locker, wincing as his hand began to sting, protesting the abuse he'd put it through.

He sighed and started wrapping it up one-handed. He couldn't have used his left hand, could he? No, he'd had to use his right and make everything difficult for himself; bandaging his left hand up one-handed would be a lot easier than wrapping up his right. Well, it was too late now, what was done was done and he couldn't do anything about it now. He flexed his fingers when he was done and shrugged to himself. It would have to do. Maybe by the morning he wouldn't need the bandage at all. He ran a comb through his hair and decided that he was presentable enough. Time to head to the infirmary and see how Gamu was doing.

Koyama was waiting by the door, not making any pretence at hiding his scrutiny and Katsumi rolled his eyes in annoyance, giving the older man a casual salute with his right hand so he could see it was properly bandaged. He got a faint smile in response before Koyama pushed himself away from the wall and headed off for, presumably, his own locker and clean uniform. Well, as long as the man didn't go telling tales about what he'd done to his hand, Katsumi didn't care what he did; he had more important things to worry about, after all.

 

The Commander was already at the infirmary when he arrived and he paused at the door when he realised the doctor was making her way over to him, dropping back quietly out of sight. It wasn’t that he _wanted_ to eavesdrop, more that as Gamu’s commanding officer, Ishimuro would be told more than he would as Gamu’s friend. That was what he told himself, anyway.

“How is he?” the Commander asked and Doctor Akiyama gave him a brief smile.

“Stabilised. He’s still on oxygen for now, just to be on the safe side, but we should be able to take him off in the morning.”

“Do you know what the cause was? Gamu doesn’t have any record of breathing difficulties that I’m aware of.”

“He doesn’t,” she agreed. “His medical file is very clear on that: he has no existing medical conditions, which is why I think it was something else.”

“Something else?”

She paused, tapping at her chin thoughtfully. “Was Takayama-san anywhere near Minato Ward a couple of months back? Around the end of March?”

The Commander shrugged. “Possibly. Without going back over reports it’s difficult to say. Why?”

“There was a series of unexplained cases of respiratory-related cases in hospitals around Tokyo, roughly between the end of March and the beginning of June. People without any previous history of breathing difficulties were suddenly falling ill with them and my colleagues in the city couldn’t explain it: the patients had nothing in common, except that they were all in various districts of Minato Ward on the same day at the end of March: Roppongi, Odaiba, Aoyama and so on.” Doctor Akiyama moved away from the door and, when the Commander followed, so did Katsumi, keeping close to the wall. “Turned out,” the doctor continued, “that there was a monster attack that day. It sprayed a type of pollen over the area that, on the surface, seemed harmless. Unless you suffered from hayfever, anyway.”

“I remember,” the Commander nodded and Katsumi nodded to himself as well. He remembered that monster only too well: it had sprayed that damn pollen all over his window and he hadn’t been able to see a thing. It had been a good thing Gaia showed up when he did because otherwise he would have been in trouble. “And yes, Gamu was there. Not that day but the day after, taking samples.” He hesitated and, judging by the way the muscles in his back moved, he was folding his arms. “Are you saying he was exposed to something?”

Doctor Akiyama nodded, her face solemn now. “I am. I took a swab from his nose and it’s definitely the same thing. This pollen is a sneaky little pest, Commander: it coats the lungs and the airways but it doesn’t do anything at first, it’s only when certain conditions are all in place that it becomes malignant.”

“What conditions are we talking about here, doctor?”

“Heat,” she replied promptly. “And a certain amount of humidity.”

Katsumi froze, his heart dropping like a stone. Heat and humidity… it couldn’t be.

“Like a sauna?” the Commander asked and the doctor nodded.

“Or being outside on a typical Tokyo summer day,” she added. “But in this case, yes, the sauna was the trigger.”

Katsumi stepped back closer against the wall, shaken, guilt churning in his gut. This was his fault, if he hadn’t dragged Gamu in there earlier he’d be fine, probably poking at an experiment or something by now instead of lying somewhere in the infirmary on oxygen because he couldn’t breathe.

“--what happens is that the pollen expands,” Akiyama continued. “It fills the lungs, blocks the airways: it’s slow but inexorable and if the conditions remain the same ultimately fatal without medical intervention. Whoever thought to get Takayama-san out of the sauna was right on the money, if they’d kept him there until the medics arrived he’d be a lot worse off right now.”

Small comfort, Katsumi thought, his head thumping against the wall. Maybe he’d headed it off but he’d caused it in the first place, as well.

“So, away from the heat and humidity the effects were reduced?”

“Essentially, yes. And that’s the beauty of this little monster, Commander, because once the pollen starts deflating it dissipates and is expelled from the lungs and so on when the patient starts breathing normally again. Which is why Takayama-san is on a nasal cannular right now instead of an oxygen mask: it will supply the oxygen he needs but won’t send the pollen right back into his lungs.”

“So… he will be fine?”

“He’ll be absolutely fine, Commander.” Katsumi let out a quiet sigh of relief at that, the sheer volume of relief leaving him a little light-headed. “I’ll still want to have a couple of scans taken of his lungs before I authorise him for return to duty, just to make sure they’re clear, but I don’t foresee any problems at this point.”

“Good to know. Isn’t it, Kajio?”

Katsumi froze as his commanding officer turned around, not seeming at all surprised to see him there. So much for stealth, he thought glumly as he tensed; the Commander had probably known he was there the whole time. At least Doctor Akiyama was surprised to see him, going by the quizzical look on her face as she tilted her head to look past his CO. “Ah… yes, sir. It is.”

“Is he allowed visitors?”

“He’s asleep right now,” Doctor Akiyama said pointedly.

“We won’t wake him. Will we, Kajio?”

“No, sir.”

The doctor studied them both for a moment, then shrugged as she stepped aside. “Alright, you can go in. Just don’t wake him up,” she added with a stern look directed at both of them equally.

“We won’t,” Ishimuro repeated. “Come on,” he continued, nodding his head in the direction Gamu was presumably sleeping, “before the good doctor changes her mind.”

Doctor Akiyama smiled briefly before turning away from them, taking a clipboard off an approaching nurse and moving off to discuss the results.

“Blaming yourself won’t do any good,” the Commander said conversationally as they made their way over to the beds. “To you or Gamu. There was no way you could have known.”

Was everyone in his head today? Katsumi wondered in frustration. Or had he simply become that transparent since he’d lowered a few of his walls? He hoped that wasn’t the case, he didn’t want anyone and everyone to be able to read him so easily. “No, sir.”

He didn’t believe it and he was pretty sure his CO didn’t believe him either but at least the man had the decency to pretend he did, even so. Gamu looked better, he saw with relief. He was still pale and looked washed out against the white sheets of the infirmary but at least his lips weren’t blue anymore and his chest was rising and falling in a steady rhythm and a little of the weight lifted from his shoulders. Gamu really would be alright.

 

When he woke in the morning it was to an aching back that was protesting vehemently against the hunched position he’d slept in and he lifted his head blearily to look around. Stifling a yawn, he rubbed at his eyes and then blinked a few times as the details resolved themselves. Huh. He was still in the infirmary, right by Gamu’s bed. Why had they let him stay instead of kicking him out? Well, he wasn’t about to complain, not when Gamu looked better this morning than he had last night, a little more colour in his face than there had been previously.

Reaching out to brush Gamu’s bangs away from his face, he stilled abruptly as Gamu’s eyes opened immediately. Shit, he’d been awake. Oh well, he was already busted, might as well brazen it out, he decided, tucking the hair behind Gamu’s ear as his friend smiled up at him.

“Thank you, Kajio-san.”

He shrugged casually and leant back in the chair, folding his arms across his chest. “You really shouldn’t be thanking me, Gamu.”

“But it wasn’t your fault!” Gamu protested immediately, reaching out to pat his leg in reassurance. “You didn’t know. _I_ didn’t even know.” Clearly the doctor had been around already and explained everything, he thought. Gamu seemed well up to speed on what had happened.

“Whose was it then?” he demanded. “If I hadn’t dragged you in there you wouldn’t be here in the first place.”

“Maybe not,” Gamu said slowly. “But I would have been the next time Yoshida-san decided I was spending time with Team Hercules in there and they might not have thought to move me out of the sauna when I started struggling.”

That didn’t matter, he wanted to say, but he didn’t think it would make much difference. Gamu would insist it wasn’t his fault and he’d still know better and they wouldn’t get anywhere. Better to just let the matter drop for now, until there was a more appropriate moment for that argument. He sighed and leant forward again, resting his elbows on the mattress, cupping his chin in his hands. “Well, either way I’m sorry, Gamu. Really.”

Gamu just smiled, then the smile wavered as his eyes went to Katsumi’s hands and oh crap, he’d noticed. Damn it. Now he’d want to know what happened. “Kajio-san, what happened to your hand?” Gamu demanded right on cue. “Why is it all bandaged up?”

Resisting the impulse to hide his hands behind his back or something, Katsumi determinedly didn’t move. “I had an argument with a wall,” he said lightly. “The wall won.” Gamu’s eyes narrowed and his lips thinned and Katsumi clearly didn’t need to elaborate because Gamu got the picture immediately and while he was obviously worried, it was just as obvious that he was less than impressed.

"Kajio-san..."

"Don't start, Gamu," he interrupted. "I already know it was stupid, I don't need you to tell me that as well."

Gamu shut his mouth but he still looked disapproving. Well, let him, Katsumi thought wryly. Considering what Gamu had just been through he could give him a pass on being pissy. Once he was out of the infirmary, though, it was a whole other story.

"They said anything about when they'll be letting you out?" he asked, attempting to head off any other attempts at lecturing him and the look Gamu gave him told him he knew exactly what he was doing but that he was being generous enough to let it pass. Just this once.

"Not really," Gamu replied after a moment. "Doctor Akiyama wants to run a few more tests to make sure my lungs are clear. And I think she wants to keep me under observation overnight as well, even if they are, just to be on the safe side."

He looked distinctly unimpressed with that as well, Katsumi thought in amusement. Clearly Gamu was no fonder of prolonged medical stays than he was himself. "Well, no argument from me," he said unsympathetically. Gamu had scared the crap out of him; if keeping him in overnight again meant Gamu would be fine and not have a repeat of yesterday's disaster then personally he was fine with that.

Gamu pouted up at him and he gave him a faint grin. "Hey, under other circumstances I'd have more sympathy," he told him. "Just not right now. I think you took a few years off my life with that stunt yesterday, as far as I'm concerned they can keep you here as long as they have to to make sure you don't do something so ridiculous again."

Gamu stuck his tongue out at him. "You're no help."

"Nope." His stomach rumbled, reminding him he hadn't had breakfast yet and he glanced at the clock on the wall to see what time it was. "Shit," he yelped, lurching to his feet. "I'm going to be late. I'll see you later, Gamu, alright?" Ishimuro had been understanding last night but he didn't think that would extend to him being late for his shift, which was exactly what was going to happen if he didn't get a move on. He gave Gamu a hurried wave as he bolted out the infirmary, just about hearing the goodbye Gamu called after him.

He just about made it to the morning briefing, which raised eyebrows among Team Falcon, but he didn't have to worry about answering questions from Ogawara or Kitada because Chief Tsutumi waved them all in before they could do more than barrage him with said questions. He'd have to answer them later, but at least it would be with good news.


End file.
